FEAR TO ACT: Why do artists postpone action?



The daunting empty page and the luring phone.

Procrastination; simply put, the act of avoiding and postponing a task that needs to be done. Delaying to submit that application, write that report/essay, learn that instrument; postponing a practice routine, exercise, diet plan, visit a relative, finish that painting, put on that exhibition or concert, write that book, face that challenge, confront a fear etc... Usually these are put on a bench and in their place we insert whatsapp, facebook, video games, movies, TV, the bar, beach, candycrash... Basically more important life saving deeds, the crucial fun stuff.

Artists haven't got a monopoly on this postpone-for-no-reason-whatsoever foolishness, it can affect anyone. But artists have truly perfected the art of delaying stuff. This is a disease for many creative people and I am not immune. It sure is something that I battle with from time to time. I was thinking a lot about why on occasion, it takes me so long to do certain tasks yet once I get cracking I at times execute them if not reasonably fast and well, then at least with more ease than previously envisioned since the idea is often already fully formed in my mind. The stumbling block always being to simply start or continue with conviction if I had stalled. Most creative types must have experienced this at some point in their work. Always opting to do stuff on the last minute when you are backed in a corner like a student on deadline essay hand-in day with sweaty palms and bewildered eyes.

Usually creatives have great ways to justify this dragging of feet. We say cryptic arty-farty stuff like "I work better under pressure ", "the feeling isn't right ", "I don't feel inspired ",  "I lost my mojo ", "I am off! ", "writer's block ", "I'm not in the zone " I use that last one often but don't ask me what "the zone" is. In one recording session of a gazillion takes, annoyingly but winningly, a client told me after trying to nail a vocal and failing, "I am somewhere else, I don't know where! I need to search for me. " Of  course he was in the same room as I but naturally I had to accept such a classic excuse and the session was postponed. You can't argue with someone who isn't there, you certainly can't record them! Weirdly, we proceeded to a cafe and had a chat over tea for over an hour. Presumably I was talking to myself since he had declared HE "wasn't there!"  You know who you are.

Image from www.orleanscoreelements.com

On thinking through this, I figured most people believe procrastination is simply laziness. An urge to steer clear of hard & laborious or on the other extreme mundane & boring tasks in option for more fun things. This certainly is true sometimes but not necessarily always since many times a procrastinator actually engages in other busy tasks possibly also useful but all the while avoiding the priority task. Perhaps I am writing this blog procrastinating on something else!

At the risk of relieving genuinely lazy people of their lounging crown and providing them a fresh reason to slouch on a binge of the no end in sight Prisoner Break, or two days of epic finger numbing at Candycrash, I am going to provide my other view. Feel free to use the excuse below. But first, a quick peek at my twitter, must tweet this;  "writing about procrastination, what a fascination " . Click "share".

How I See It

As an experienced procrastinator my take is that, procrastination can also be from a fear of the enormity of a task; a realisation and consideration of the work hours required to complete the task; assessment of the level of skill and guts required and doubting if you have either; looking at the manpower and financial resources needed and deeming it impossible. Basically, being overwhelmed by the task and shelving it for a future date when all those shifting poles will miraculously be in balance, which is actually never. So let's check facebook a bit and marvel at the latest Mugabe meme & quotes. lol. Selfie of my own Mugabe meme, pout, peace sign, snap, share.

At times I envision a musical work so completely in my mind that bringing it to reality can only corrupt it. In the mind where it has been conceived, it is note perfect, delivered in a perfect venue with glorious acoustics and an audience of attentive exquisite musical ears ready to feast. Then reality rears its ugly head and I think,  when will I get it note perfect? Where is this great venue? Where are these holy grail ears? At this realisation, the beautiful castle crumbles! As such, procrastination wedges in. Point being, why do it at all if it can't reach the exceptional heights of orgasmic glory that it has achieved in my imagination. So what does one do? Drop the idea rather than have it delivered even an iota less than as conceived! So let's YouTube instead and a bit of facebook again lest I miss my update on #freestellanyanzi.

I have recently come to the conclusion that rather than a sheer striving for perfection this is more likely FEAR.  Fear to fail; a fear to be judged; a fear to be venerable; a fear to be exposed. Definitely a fear to fail. Let's search on Wikipedia for the origin of the word "fear". Google search "is there an imogi for fear? ".

When an artist makes a true work of expression from within the deep recesses of their being, so much is exposed. So much is at stake in making that work, more so delivering it for public scrutiny including self judgement. It is the fear of this completion stage that can make one perpetually postpone even the simplest of creative tasks. Opting for a quick tweet with a diverting link on Kanye West and engage in some witty debates on "what is genius?". imho! Read Albert Einstein mini biography and; check IMDB for new biopic Genius.

Star Shift album cover 2016

I remember when I was making my album Star Shift that I kept finding excuses to delay its release. At one point even considering that it wasn't worth releasing at all because it wasn't measuring up to the ridiculously grandiose concepts in my imagination. So starting in November 2013 I worked on it until its release in July 2016! I was rewriting songs, ditching some, reviving others, continually unsatisfied with the results. Looking back, that was simply a fear of not reaching the perfect artistic aims as originally conceived; a fear of possibly doing something irrelevant; a fear of not being able to present it right; a fear of failure; a fear of... fill in the gap. Click "like " and lol at Donald Trump 's latest idiotic gaffe busy making America not so great again then check the BBC's 100th update on same story: be sure to reference with Aljazeera and some other non-Western news network.

My remedy was one. Simply start and keep moving until suddenly you wake up and you have reached the final destination. The fear to start is the biggest hurdle an artist faces because its a fight with self. Only action can overcome it. Nothing else. There are too many distractions waiting to rip you away from the task and there are a million excuses to help you delay. However, you only need one to start. To  beat procrastination minimise or better still completely remove those distractions and simply START, however small just ACT. Don't forget to reward yourself with those fun things once the task is done but only when its done. That is what I do. 

Oh I have to run, today is the absolute deadline to apply for Bayimba Festival of the Arts. I've known about it for a whole year but let me rush and submit before midnight, that should work right? I'm serious by the way, no kidding! "Procrastinatingly" yours, Kaz.

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N.B This is an update after the original post. Da Kraw, an artist in London wrote this (see image below) after reading the article and I thought it would add a nice touch. I laughed but I love that it provoked the reaction I had in mind when I wrote the article. By the way you can listen to Da Kraw's tasty music.